Splice

Just like the creature in this film which was 'spliced' together with a handful of animals, this film was spliced with unconventional sex, irrelevant sub-threads, and cheap CGI. I'm wondering how in the hell did they got the academy award winning Adrien Brody to sign on to the project? What happened to The Pianist?

The dialogue isn't so bad, but the story is like death row, you know whats coming at the end, but all you can do is sit and wait for it. It really seems like Vincenzo penned this one weekend back in college, set it in a drawer and dug it out only after the success of The Cube.  Practically the whole movie is build-up for a 10 minute action sequence that's predictable from the get-go.

The gist of it is, two scientists, who are also romantically involved, work in a lab genetically engineering new species. At home they discus having a baby. Back in the lab, their newest project, a human-animal hybrid, has defied expectations and grown into a mousy looking rodent-baby. Perfect! The couple takes it home. It grows at an accelerated rate, looking more and more human as it does. It goes through it's terrible two's, it's rebellious teen years, and finally reaches womanhood under the parental care of the two scientists who, oh by the way, raise it in a barn. If your mom ever accused you of being raised in a barn, you can point out that you haven't killed cats or seduced your father, because that's what this "rodent-baby girl" does.

Although making a happy life for her seemed possible at first, the couple eventually realizes she is dangerous, but being the loving foster parents they are, don't kill her. But that doesn't stop her from trying to kill them.

Stars: 2/5